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margin-bottom: 0; margin-left:8px"> <span style="font-size: 16pt"><b> <span style="font-family: Times New Roman"> <font color="#FF0000">The Road Less Taken </font><font color="#0099FF"> </font>| Part V  Last Stop on the Orient Express</span></b></span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 8px; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><font size="2">Story by:</font> </i> <span style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal"><font face="Arial" style="font-size: 9pt" color="#0099FF">Mike Dunphy</font></p></span> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; "> &nbsp;</p> <table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 651px; height: 171px; "> <tr> <td style="background-image: url('images/baladvice/mainimg_balanceadv.gif'); text-align: left" valign="top" width="207"> <p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> <img border="0" src="images/2011_edfall/hs_roadlesstaken_05.jpg" width="196" height="184" style="border: 1px solid #808000"></td> <td style="text-align: left" valign="top"> <p style="text-align: justify; margin-left: 12px; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0; margin-right:8px"> <span class="auto-style1"> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> <font size="2">In Istanbul, the first call to prayer is at dawn. For the faithful, the chant of the muezzin begins a series of ritual ablutions of the body and gestures toward Mecca. For tourists, the seemingly chaotic modulations of melody and unintelligible syllables inspire the exotic imagery of the Orient they came for. For me, well into my third year in Turkey, the cry meant much more a daily reminder of why I moved there and a lordly poke of shame at the results. </font><o:p></o:p></span></span></td> </tr> </table> <p style="margin-top: -12px; margin-bottom: 0; "> &nbsp;</p><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="width: 651px; font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; "> <tr> <td style="text-align: left; color: #000000" valign="top"> <span class="auto-style1"> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> Her name was Seda, from the old Persian for  voice, and she spoke to me as no other. Weary from years of travel, there seemed no better place to settle than her arms. In Boston ironically, I had found the person, I thought, with whom I could finally combine my passions for travel, foreign cultures, and true, cinematic romance and find a home. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> As she was Turkish, there was much delight for both of us in the intercultural nature of the relationship, a fact far easier to appreciate in the  melting pot mentality of the United States. For all the much-proclaimed racial tensions here, this country still offers a greater openness and respect for cultural differences than most places I ve been. This was something Seda appreciated. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> When we transplanted the relationship to Turkey in 2005, the environment became less hospitable. In a far more conservative culture, I was suspect. Elaborate schemes became necessary to get me in her apartment (or neighbors would call her mother), and I was kept hidden from her family for nearly six years. Additionally, a liberal, feministic, American upbringing made me fit poorly in a less progressive, hyper-macho society that I nonetheless found myself subservient to. I carried no swagger as I walked down the street, I didn t smoke, I wasn t mechanically handy, I didn t have much interest in fashion, sports, or cars, and I didn t like fighting. Worst of all, I had no economic goals beyond the basic necessities, which all too often inspired tearful, Dickensian fantasies of a future in a poor house. The fact that I could wash, dry, and iron my own clothes, sew a button, whip up a mean mojito, and give a good oiled massage did little to alleviate questions about my potency. As a result, the farther the diamond ring slid down the finger, the more uncomfortable it got. Clearly, there was a problem and all signs pointed to me. The only cure, it seemed, was to remove the malignancy, and so I did. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> &nbsp;</p> <div align="center"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="409"> <tr> <td width="220"> <img border="0" src="images/2011_edfall/hs_roadlesstaken_02.jpg" width="220" height="169" style="border: 6px solid #DADADA"></td> <td>&nbsp;</td> <td width="153"> <img border="0" src="images/2011_edfall/hs_roadlesstaken_04.jpg" width="153" height="169" align="right" style="border: 6px solid #DADADA"></td> </tr> </table> </div> <p class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: justify; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> Seda, of course, would differ with this tale and instead cite a litany of stubbornness, spinelessness, bone-headedness, and an institutional selfishness on my part.  It was always about you, she later wrote in a blistering critique, and she s probably right. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> But the road shares some of the blame. In many respects, the expatriate life is a selfish one. It requires transience, self-preservation, and above all, the willingness to sacrifice people as you move from place to place. It may seem difficult to say always goodbye to those you love, but it s actually far easier than building real relationships. Eventually, you even begin to question why you bother with such complexity. When the going gets tough, you learn, it s time to get going. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> <span lang="EN" style="line-height:150%;mso-ansi-language:EN"> So on April 29, 2009, I ignominiously boarded the flight home from Istanbul. As the Golden Horn grew small below me, I felt the usual pain of leaving so many cobblestones, mosaics, and minarets behind, but it was nothing compared to suffering the loss of a person. Living abroad taught me much about life, but its greatest lesson may be that true happiness depends on people, not place and it is most definitely not about me. Happily, Seda has found someone all about her. </span></p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin:0 8px; text-align: justify; "> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 8px; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> &nbsp;</p> <p class="MsoNormal" style="margin-left: 8px; margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> <em>This article originally appeared in the Fall print edition of Equanimity Magazine.</em></p> </span> </td> </tr> </table></td> <td width="271" valign="top" style="border-left: 1px solid #3399FF; "> <p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-top: -8px; margin-bottom: 0"> &nbsp;</p> <div align="center"> <div align="right"> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="254"> <tr> <td valign="top" class="style1"> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 6px"> <font face="Arial" color="#333333" size="4"> Newsletter</font></td> </tr> <tr> <td style="border-bottom: 2px dotted #333333" class="style1"> <p style="margin-top: 0; margin-bottom: 0"> <font face="Arial" size="2">Stay up to date with us. 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